What a good time I had this morning , Ken picked up and took me to one of my favourite local artists Stephen Raw, I got to meet him and browse around his studio . If anyone coming to the event on Sept 14th look at this work as he weaves poetry and art together in a very creative manner. He is hopefully going to sell some of his work but he is generously going to give a substantial amount from his sales to MND.
Back home and a chat with Ken my Buddhist friend which is always good as he gives me the chance to talk about my spirituality which is one of my favourite subjects now , as I work out in my head how to die peacefully and with content and as Russel ‘s says ‘comfortably’ .
I then lay in my hammock while waiting for my lovely niece Nicola to arrive . I was just ‘being’ and in my peaceful calmness I felt a sense of joy as I looked at the world, the bright sky through the bicycle wheels , the bright yellow flowers , the different colours of green around me. This is a different feeling to happiness like when you have a joke with friends or in David’s case an a crippling sigh !!! No ! this was a sense of being at peace with my illness , a sense of awareness of my life , a sense of acceptance of the limited future and cherishing those moments like the last spoonfuls of a delicious pudding. I was not wanting anything from life and I think this is so important to just to let my life unfold now with no aspirations or unrealistic dreams. I have learnt that not wanting stuff is the way to peaceful joy . I don’t mean just wanting possessions I also mean wanting behaviour from others or recognition to build the ego up . It is such a peaceful and comfortable place not wanting.
In the middle of the night I woke unable to breathe , a sense of my heart labouring , an unusual feeling and a bit scary . I was on the way to panic street but I brought back my time in the garden and was able to relax and not wanting anything to happen and just to let things take it course , I raised my pillows and went back to sleep .
I am so pleased I can share this joy with others through the blog .. Thank you all readers for your inspiration in me continuing this folly .