We had a long lie in today and then the first call was to a fancy tea house where I once again tried to have coffee but my swallow reflex refused to work , I was a little miffed about that as one of my pleasures is to enjoy a strong coffee on a pavement cafe when i am abroad. I swallowed my dismay though and we then ambled around the old town and decrepit houses amidst the channels of the river. Annecy is an enchanting town, we walked along the riverside , across bridges, past watchmakers, chocolatiers , and tailors. We smelt crepes, honey, garlic cooking and chefs preparing fish dishes as we past the pavement cafes adorned with an abundance of flowers. We walked up to the castle and took photographs of an array of roofs of every texture and colour, old wooden doors carved out of the 12th century , church spires framed by clouded mountains and the blue lake itself with crystal clear water.
After a few hours we returned the apartment as the rain clouds started to gather and we all made our individual dinners to our own needs and chilled as Sam wrote poetry and Joe meditated and I read another chapter of my novel. We didn’t need to go out as we were all happy just chilling in each others company. Sometimes it is good to not to plan , not to try too hard and amuse yourselves as we were all content with just ‘being’ and let the minutes roll on.
We talked about plans for the long time future and our creative aspirations , I just love being in the company of my sons they are so special , I don’t have to try and converse , they instantly know when I have dark thoughts and distract me and also I can rest when I want , eat when I need to, and tend to my strange feeding procedures without any thought. My only regret is my inability to join in their conversations and give my opinions , advice and support . I miss all going out for a meal and the active discussions which young people have as when we used to , I relished those debates around the table. Although I tried to persuade them to go out and have a meal , they both refused and we just ate when we wanted in a relaxed sort of way . I am so proud of them for their sensitivity and empathy as they carry my bags and walk slowly beside me.
I think we judge young people to much on the academic attainments and their ability to make money, instead we should recognise their emotional intelligence , the sensitivity to be socially competent human beings and to be empathic and understanding. Sam and Joe have certainly been the best sons I could wish for in understanding the implications of having MND. As was thinking about this being the potential last holiday abroad Sam spotted my low mood and introduced me to ‘Breaking Bad’ before bed.