An early start as the builder is completing the toilet downstairs now , at last I don’t have to trudge up and down the stairs, it is also a place I can have fluids and foods when strangers are in the house . It seems to take ages to get up and about these days , I am so slow !
At midday Chris comes by to meet up with another friend Lynn .. We are going to the hills ! We wind out way through the villages until we are in the barren , quintessential wilderness of Saddleworth Moor.
When we reach the ‘tops’ of the hills there is warm breeze and a mist around us. We stop at the ‘stones’ huge boulders which were a remnant of the ice age , standing proudly as giants overlooking the valley. It is not a pretty place but is a strong emotional place , a place to think .
We walked a while amongst the damp grass and passed families enjoying the views over the valley. I wonder as pass by the ‘general public’ ….we don’t know their joyous or troubled thoughts that are in the heads and they don’t know mine. Some are deep in thought, some entrenched in a conversation , some smiling in the breeze, some look tired of life . I wonder what I look like ? I certainly feel that I look gaunt these days, my cheeks are disappearing and my lop sided smile is more profound as I dribble into my hankie, I don’t feel like I look good at all.
We retreat after a short while to a deli , the smells and fancy foods are all on show , what was once a delight is now a torture but I just sit down and browse through a magazine left on a table full of recipes. I have this odd feeling now when I am hungry . I can feel my muscles become taut around my button and relax and then taut , it isn’t painful but it is a weird feeling.
Chris and I chat on the way home about our lives , our holidays , her work and my acceptance of this illness. Ruth arrives just as I get home and I rest,she makes tea, fish and sauce again . As we are settling down for the night to plan our Isle of Harris trip all the lights go off and I hear a drip , drip from the kitchen and then a splash as the ceiling has become a cold shower ! I rush up to Ruth to tell her not to flush the toilet anymore in gesticulations and then try and explain in gesticulations again that this cold cause a fire as the water is interfering with the electrics, Ruth is trying to understand . I can’t find my iPad , I can’t communicate so I just panic . The drama is soon over as we soaked up the water . When we the sat down I felt so odd as every nerve in body seems to be firing off , I was twitching all over , again not painful but I felt so very weird. It subsided as we daydreamed in front of the TV while we played Scrabble again.