I sociable day today with an art session with my friend, Ann , we can paint in silence and that is good company for me . The dietician came and told me how much more water I need to have through my tube as I really struggle to drink now , and how much more food I need to have, but I am stabilising my weight which is good . It is so important to have a health care professional which listens rather instructs,she is so good . She also recognised the importance of liaison with the MacMillan nurses to plan things in the last weeks of life to maybe prevent me going to hospital if the hospice is full .
I heard from the optician who will refuses to give me contact lens more than 12 weeks as he is concerned that I don’t blink enough … Surely I can assess my own ability to blink !!!
In the afternoon a couple of friends came around for a while while I tried to give impact in my conversation on the iPad with using words that meant a lot rather than idle chatter. The evening I had alone .
Since I have acquired my silent world, I have tried to learn to choose words that has the most impact of giving the message out without typing too much . Since I have retired and spend more time alone I have many silent moments. When I get lonely I put on the radio to fill in the silence but sometimes the silence is good for me.
I wish I had made myself more silent moments when I was in the thrust of working life as sometimes there was too much chatter and less thought. We can waste our words . Meditating in the day gives me a clarity of thought , calms my busy mind , disciplines my thoughts and enables me to make the important decisions in my life which puts issues in perspective . As I remember when I was a therapist the silence was so important , something things need not be said .
So when you are all going back to work, and busy all day , in the office chattering, coming home to a busy house , going out at night and chattering about your day , find a few minutes of silence in a quiet place for reflection . When you have your mind full of ideas and can’t make decisions ,stop and find some silence. I used to relish my thought time on my bike while I cycled to work about what the day was going to offer me and when i cycled home what I and done in the day whilst also appreciating the wild flowers on the cycle path which gave me the indication of the changing seasons . The first snowdrops followed by bluebells and wild anemones, then the may blossom and the first bright leaves on the hawthorn. Then the mid summer flowers foxgloves , and wild roses , then the late summer willow herb and the foul smelling Indian balsam and the falling of the leaves to the winter months . Sadly my bike is parked now but I still have the moments of contemplation and still can observe the changing world .