Today was a very sociable day my friend Joy came around for coffee and then I visited a dear friend Ken . Both of these friends know me so well they are so natural with my iPad I feels so normal just having a conversation as we talked about our loves and frustrations. Then in the afternoon a couple of friends from work popped in and I let go of all my family therapy books . This was a good example of letting go of my former life …. I guess for me, my Phd write up is my way if holding on to my former self but I have let go of so many things now and my colleagues remind me of that world but I realised that I have accepted that now as it used to upset me when people talked about work but now I have let it go and accepted.
I have let go of my clinical work , attending lectures and meeting as an academic , supervising colleagues , walking the hills , eating out with friends , coffee in cafes , running , cycling, supporting friends , chatting on the phone to my family and numerous other things .
I think I have been graceful in letting go , it wasn’t really conscious ,but when I can finally let go of the things that need to go , it is a sense if relief and there is a mental space of choosing better things for me. I can think of many people I have spoken to that hang on stubbornly to the status quo to maintain safe routines. I know that is a comfort but maybe letting go is scary but then when you do it it’s ok … Yes, I still miss meals out with friends but I have gained nights in watching DVD s with friends instead . Yes, I miss clinical work but I am developing my skills in blog writing instead . Yes, I miss running when I am frustrated and tense but I have learnt to to turn up the music and drive out to the country instead.
I have lost a lot but I have gained so much too, deeper quality relationships with friends and an deeper appreciation of life , I am learning to ask them for help as my independence is the next thing I will be losing, but this will be replaced in asking people to support me and that could be a potentially profound positive change for me .
So if you are pursuing the old thing , routines on that marry go round … Stop it! change the passengers, change the music and enjoy the new ride of life. It was good to hear my friend Liz as she has turned her life around and brought in changes and the lovely Alice packing in job to a bright new era of her life ! I feel my life is not one continuous novel but a book of short stories.