Party over, so getting ready for tomorrow now as it’s Joe’s official birthday tomorrow…we are booked at a spa is Hope in Derbyshire for the night .
Chill day with my sister Sue , we both were exhausted and just mouched around the house wrapping presents,sewing curtains and washing clothes.
My dribble is getting intolerable now, it’s a steady stream all day and all night . I can’t do anything with two hands as I need one hand free to have a tissue to my mouth !
It looks disgusting and it takes away all my dignity . If I get upset or cry it gets so much worse as it gets thicker like a thread from my mouth and when I yawn my mouth floods.
My lips are so weak I can’t move them now so holding in saliva is impossible ., so against advice from the hospice I meddled with my medication and took atropine, a few drops in my mouth . I think I overdosed as it then became so dry my tongue was sticking to the roof of my mouth it like like velcro , I was so dehydrated and taking fluid in my mouth made little difference, so with a headache I just gave in and went to sleep.
After a few hours the atropine wore off and I was back to dribbling again as a waved goodbye to Sue and woke up Joe from his afternoon nap ! We spend the night catching up with his life and mine. Not a black day but certainly a hard day as Sam says often “reframe this mum” I try to reframe everything but I have so much to reframe I could hold an exhibition.
There is still light but the door of MND is closing in , I try to be positive and look at what I can do but this dribble is so getting me down as it is another symptom to cope to go along with the inability to speak , sing , kiss, eat, drink, run and walk normally. I have a sneaking suspicion that my neck muscles are going to be the next weakness as I find it hard to hold my head up when I am tired.
Hey ho … That’s a long moan ! I am lucky that I can drive and have still have my freedom and drive the boys to Derbyshire tomorrow. I must appreciate my abilities today as tomorrow will be worse.