It was Ruth birthday,she came from a weekend with her friends in the Lake District and she visited her mum and we went to Llanbedrog in the boathouse. The view was from the bedroom in the photograph. We went to Aberdaron, it was sunny day and Ruth walked on the beach and we went to community chapel. I wrote a message on a stone to my husband Tim, there were a pile of stones with messages and they put the stones in the sea every month.
We went to Oreil (art gallery) behind the boathouse I saw wonderful pictures of the sea by Ceri Auckland Davies and linocut by Ian Philips. When we got to our boathouse it was raining, Ruth built a fire and we watched a film, it was so cosy. The balcony was wonderful the sea was under my feet. When we went to sleep I heard the whooshing of the tide on the rocks. We went to Bodnant gardens on the way back, it was fresh air and i smelled autumn leaves, I love autumnal sunlight. MND has opened my eyes to the wondrous world we live in.
When we got back I had a terrible fall, on my head and my pelvis.I am nervous about walking so I sit on the couch most of the time. The district nurses.Ronnie and Claire they are stars***** I have a long wait about a year to see the community dentist and they had a word and the dentist came yesterday, he was so nice and treated my mouth !! McMillion nurse came and they respect my wishes to not prolong my MND. I think they understand the emotional pain alongside the physical pain.
I have been reflected on my life while I have time to contemplate. I thinking anger is a waste of energy, I get frustrated and angry with MND and take on people close to me,especially about food. I have been angry, frustrated and upset when people eat next to me and I can see the ingredients and smell the flavours and I can’t share the meal. I think it is itch my heart as I can’t eat, that’s not their fault it’s MND. I need to communicate and not get angry. People don’t understand as eating food is a social activity it’s unusual to can’t eat food.
When people fall out it mostly when they don’t understand the other’s viewpoint and anger obstructs communication.I haven’t made many adversaries in my life but I haven’t got on with specific people. I think when you oppose individuals,it’s deep in you emotional ‘blueprint’ and triggers are habitual. You want to defend yourself and you don’t recognise that there is another view on the issue.I think we have to get a sense of the battle, so many battles are trivial and it’s not worth the energy. Life is more important then scratchy itches with family and friends. So today approach a friend or family you have fallen out and communicate and get sense of the argument and communicate.